life events

female-black-pug-birthday-gift acquisition, 2012

Without doubt, I am an awful mix of crazy and stupid today. Stupidity comes with being human – not much I can do about that, but the crazy part – I should probably work on suppressing. Unless suppression is a symptom of my craziness, and I think it might be.

As I write, it is two days before my bride’s birthday. Her birthday wish? A puppy. Not just any puppy, but a pug puppy. Not just any pug puppy, but a relatively rare black pug puppy. Black pugs are somewhat hard to come by; perhaps one in a dozen classified ads will feature one, but most rare is the elusive female black pug puppy. You’ll have an easier time finding listed a vintage “Back To The Future” Delorean, complete with functional flux capacitor than you will a black female pug puppy.


The XY/black chromosomal mix must be the ultimate in recessive gene combinations. Rarity of her choicest gift is the primary obstacle in my wife’s birthday quest. The second lies in me. I am highly resistant to adding another warm blooded body to our already chaotic household. Aside from our rambunctious human boys, we already own two little flat-faced furballs; I don’t need a third one making messes everywhere, attracting more stress to my already fragile state of mind.

So, it probably goes without saying – because I am writing this after all – that I have stumbled into a prospective female-black-pug-birthday-gift for my lovely wife. Yes, it is true; I have. As I write this entry, to be posted on her birthday, I sit in my favorite watering hole, laying out the tale of female-black-pug-birthday-gift aquisition, 2012.

It is 7:41am, Friday morning. I have requested a personal day from work, and I am to meet the prospective puppy around 1pm, which means I don’t have long to complete this writing. “Why Luke!” you say. “That’s not for more than four hours! You have tons of time!”
Right you are, but recall the information I conveyed earlier: black female pug puppies = rare. You hardly ever find them. When you do, you’re gonna drive, FAR.

Siri was full of crap on her time estimate – it took much longer :/

I am gearing up for a trip to Stevenson, WA to meet a man about a dog. If you’re not familiar with Stevenson it’s because you have some iota of a life. It’s a speck on the butt end of the state of Washington. It’s so ‘out there’, that there are very few entry roads to get to it. I’ll actually have to cross the river into Oregon, hug the state line for 40 miles East, then re-enter Washington, crossing the “Bridge of the Gods” to enter a town that makes “Doc Hollywood’s” Grady look like a metropolis. (That’s my second reference to a Michael J Fox film. Is the universe trying to say something?)

When Stevie Jr. founded Stevenson back in 1908, little did he know his namesake would one day be the temporary home of one of nature’s truly rare inhabitants.

So, given my reservations over adding another pet to our domestic mix, why am I doing this? You don’t care? Too bad, I’m going to tell you anyway. Firstly, I am making this cataclysmic decision so I may write about it. WHAT?!
Yes, I am that sick. When I first considered whether I would actually make this trip, there were two considerations that came to mind: what I am doing right now – writing, was one of those. The mere thought of sitting in this exact spot, (yes, I envisioned myself in the very chair I’m currently occupying) and scripting this tale – it was too delicious a prospect to pass on. Writing stories has become to me a thin channel into the vast ocean of paradise, a brief refuge in the eternal, and I needed it today.

The 2nd best part of my day today.

I mentioned two things on my mind. The other…it is her. I am tantalized beyond imagination over her inevitable reaction when I bring home the little bundle of furry joy. She’s going to freak. And don’t think I’m under the impression I’ll score points over this. We’ve been married eleven years. Points scoring is over. She’ll still become wildly irritated next time I’m late coming home or I’m dismissive of her thoughts or any of the other actions or non-actions that my brutish insensitivity moves me toward, and I won’t be able to point to the floor and say, “But, the puppy!”

No, what I am doing today is simply for her. Because I love her. Will I regret this? Hell, yes. But regret is going to wait a little while – probably till tonight, when the puppy will keep me up all hours, crying lonely, as puppies do. Oh God help me.

Me with ‘Minnie’ the pug, at a lookout over the Columbia River

To my Ms. Christmas:
I don’t have to tell you that you didn’t marry a romantic fellow. I don’t have a history of lavish party arrangements or imaginative birthday gifts. (Didn’t I bring home a ‘Hot Wheels’ cake for your birthday once?) Well, today I am doing what I do, for whatever it’s worth – a little bit of crazy and a whole lot of stupid.
I can’t wait to surprise you. You’re gonna freak.
I love you.

Ms. Christmas with Minnie, getting ready to blow out the candles!

40 replies »

  1. Awwww…. You get major points Luke. Major!!! Very nice sweet and thougtful of you. Happy birthday to your beautiful bride. Wishing her many more and God’s absolute best.

    You have to let us know how she reacted lol. Have a lovely day with her.

  2. You win the Awesome Husband Prize for this one. You’re right, you’re way past being able to use this to score points, but this is even better than that. Happy Birthday to your wife!!

  3. Yes I was indeed surprised and I did freak! Completely unexpected, but little Minnie is very sweet – the perfect birthday gift that I get to enjoy for the next 15 years or so. I have loved you already for your stupidity and craziness but my favorite thing to love about you is your willingness to love me and all my very own stupidity…and my love of the flat faced fur balls. And yes, you did bring home a hot wheels cake one year. 🙂 I love you and thank you!

  4. Great Blog Luke, great response as well Carrie. Congratulations and Happy Birthday to Carrie, Laurel, Carlyn’s friend. 🙂

  5. Many Happy Returns of the day to your wife (in advance,as I think the post says its two days from now). I am sure she is going to get a real pleasant surprise….Minnie is too cute…..I always wanted to have a pug for myself (especially after I saw one at my father friend’s place but the usual cream colored,saw a black one for the first time)…but my husband always escapes the topic.Thanks a lot for the post. I am going to make him read this post of yours for total inspiration.

    Sayori 🙂

  6. Dear Luke, (Can I call you that??? It’s so much better than calling you Legion)
    The part I LOVED so much, was the thing of not having any delusions that this puppy is going to save you any kind of wrath over being late or insensitive.
    It’s TRUE!!!!
    Even after my husband surprised me with a trip to ITALY, in the clever way of putting a note that read,” I’m taking you here for our 20th Anniversay” inside the movie Under the Tuscan Sun for my Christmas present, not an hour later I was screaming at him for something. I can’t even remember.
    But I DO remember him saying….”Wow. That trip got me like NO mileage.”
    Which made me scream a little more.
    O the joys of marriage.
    Great post!!!!
    Cute Pup!
    Happy Day to your Ms. Christmas!!!

  7. OMG this posting is a love story! The ultimate pay it forward kinda love. Not what is this going to do for me but the pure love, just because, it doesn’t make any sense, kinda love!

  8. Luke, that puppy is adorable and so is your wife’s face. You cannot beat that dog for cuteness. It took a couple of tanks of gas but at least you didn’t have to fly somewhere.

    Best of luck with housebreaking 8).

  9. You have just won me over (not that I wasn’t already won over by your writting)! Ms. Christmas is one fortunate lady having a man who understands that doing things for her won’t always get him anything but who’s willing to do them anyway! Happy birthday to her and may she be blessed with many, many more!! ((:


  10. Minnie looks precious, Ms. Christmas..belated wishes! Dunno about the husbands of the world, the wives will love you for this…this one was a big score! 😉

    • She’s cute alright. Course, now we’re to the parts I was dreading. But I’m still glad I got to surprise her. There are only so many opportunities like that in life.
      Thanks for stopping by!

  11. OMGosh I’m freaking out too as most Women do. But you are obviously a smart Man and knew that all ready. Another great read! BTW- we are Washington or bust and hope to reside there after out tour in Sicily. Almost made it there in March….-anyhow- Once we are settled back in the States, we were also planning adding a black pug to our already mix. Good to know they are rare, so I can plan early and make sure my Husband hunts one down months before. Now, Washington resident, how hard is to get a micro pig there? 🙂

  12. Reblogged this on asklotta and commented:
    Dear Readers,
    Today’s Reblog is one of my all time favorites (a love story) from Legionwriter. His range of writing is wide and deep. “Female-black-pug-birthday-gift acquisition, 2012 is about giving without any expectations of receiving, a true love story. I love reading it over and over again and I know you will too. Please go to and visit for yourself for awhile! Sit, read and enjoy…his stories/writing is beautiful and you will be a follower for sure! His fiction always makes you beg for more! Thank you Legionwriter!
    Please go visit, you will NOT be sorry, I promise!

    Asklotta and staff will MIND MIND YOUR BUSINESS today with the help of

    Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!

    Kindest regards,


    President and CEO


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