To the new owners of our old house:

Congratulations on your new place! We have no doubt it will serve your family well. May your time here be long and joyful. It would be irresponsible of me not to inform you that your home is haunted by a most stubborn ghost. I apologize for not disclosing this earlier, but in my defense, I thought the ghost would be leaving with us. She had other thoughts. (I did mention she’s stubborn.) There are some things you should know about the ghost.

For starters, she is always hungry. If you are eating something, or even if you’re thinking of eating something, she will expect you to share. If the thing you’re eating is made of meat, she will certainly be interested, especially if it’s prepared on a grill. Expect your outdoor meal prep times to be observed by a set of disembodied moon eyes that, unless you’re made of stone, will steal your heart.

There will be noises. When the ghost is lurking about, silence is not a thing. You will hear the tapping of her toes upon the fake wood floors, particularly during the early morning hours. This is the ghost’s way of telling you she would like to come to your room. If you choose to let her in, I warn you, the ghost does snore. You’ll likely find it annoying at first, but listen to her snores long enough, and you will become addicted. You may find it difficult to sleep without them.

The ghost does not often leave her home, but she will try. If you’re going out, she will want to go with you. If you choose to take her, try to stay within a fifteen mile radius of the house. Any further than that, and she gets flustered. Suggested destinations: the coffee stand, the park. That’s pretty much it.

Whether or not you take the ghost anywhere, she will send pieces of herself with you. Even I, though I am many miles away now, carry her vestige with me. Little hairs, phantom white. Her moon eyes, willing me to keep her near. Her smell, always reminds me of sunshine.

Please, look after our little ghost, and she will look after you.